Wednesday, June 17, 2009

newly born

Today I got to meet my friends 2+ week old daughter. She was absolutely precious. I am always amazed at how tiny a newborn is, though I know they have to be that small, it still amazes me. God is amazing that he creates life, and then its just the perfect tiny size when it comes out of the womb and then it can become huge like me. I'm 5'10"ish btw.

It seems that in the past 1.5 years I have gotten to see at least 5 newborns, and all of them have been absolutely gorgeous. I really don't think that God can make an ugly baby, and even if he did, the baby would still be cute to someone.

So if you are wondering, the desires still there to have children, and that means more than one. And each day I get more and more ok with God's timing for when I will have a child. I guess sometimes, I just get a little angry at the folks who don't give life a chance and then at the first moment they do they concieve. But maybe they need it as a wake-up call that God wants to be present in their lives making them more holy and closer to heaven by having children. At the same time I think that God wants me to be patient in not having children right now, and to learn to grow closer to him through this.

Honestly if I think about it, I prayed for what seemed forever for my now husband Keith to come along. And God didn't just throw the first guy at me to be my husband but gave me someone who I cannot imagine what life was like before I met him. He is so much more than who I thought I would end up with. God had him picked out and the right timing and everything.

So I know that God is doing just that with the blessing of children. I think right now he is teaching me patience, and also increasing my desire because at one point in my life I didn't want children at all. But now I know I am learning who I am, and who I want to be, as a mother. Because as a woman I am automatically a mother, a mother spritually, in my presence with everyone I come in contact with. So each day I learn, and I grow. Both in my desire for God and my desire for holiness through parenthood.


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