Sometimes i get jealous of perfectly manicured lawns with weed protected flower beds and just the right sized bushes and trees. It seems like it would be nice to have it all under control. To know where this one bit is going and that nothing will surprise you or be a nuisance. Or even that things could be curated to be just the right manageable size.
The thing is my yard is never like that. I often have an experiment growing one place, an over run raspberry patch or strawberries popping up everywhere. Many times I have to cut out the trees that try to grow in the bushes and choke out the flowering shrub. Sometimes one tree overtakes another and we have to ax the more mangled one to minimize the chaos. And there are so many clovers and weedy things all around. But to me its beautiful if I let myself acknowledge it. Sure at time we have to take down something dying or pull out the never dying ivy. But there is beauty in it because it is alive. It is growing.
I have been contemplating this all for what seems like a long while, at least since early pandemic stages. I found myself trying to keep a certain appearance of things, but more and more, I realize that its just a different yard. That sometimes, its simply a story book house, with possibilities instead of a perfectly manicured plot of land which is never going to be what is inside my head, so maybe its okay to have it not be outside as well.
And so things grow in my yard. And they grow particularly well often. We have a lot of science experiments and perhaps also some volunteers planted by squirrels and the compost bin. But it is absolutely full of life. This is also true of inside my house. I know that some days, I would love a minimalist home with neat and tiny things, but with 7 people in a 1200sq ft house, mostly at home all day, this isn't going to be the case. We are going to be living, and living we should.
So the life is there and the tree grows, the one outside and the one inside. And sometimes its scary in that growth, its unpredictable, and its full of unknowns. It still happens, at least if you let it. Sometimes the weeds pop up and sometimes the branches are lopsided. But it is growing!! And in growing, it isn't stagnant, its becoming who God is intending it to be, with some love and some maintenance and some science experiments, it can thrive and keep extending and strengthening those branches, unafraid to test the waters of something outside the box that one knows.
I am glad the tree grows. I don't think God would want it any other way.