|Giant scaling lizard in the kitchen. Ack!
To love without expectation, or an agenda, seems impossible sometimes. While there are relationships that will give back what we need, there are many that won't. Those are the hard ones, and in some ways the ones we most learn about love from.
I've been reading Henri Nouwen this Lenten season. It's really been good and I'm not even that far into the book. Fr. Nouwen seems to try to think and feel deeply about the world, something that identifies with my soul.
He is helping me to see how I am chosen by God and there is no replacement of me. Sometimes those relationships that you love without expectation, they hurt, but that hurt is not about you. You are loved. You are God's beloved. No one but yourself can take that away from you because God is love and he cannot deny himself.
This is good for me to remember, because I want to grow in love, but if I keep wanting to get my validation from the world, whether it be my children, family, friends or something else this is only going to set me up for more hurt. I need to only care what God thinks.
So, I'll try to love freely without an agenda and maybe I will just grow a little.