Thursday, March 12, 2015


Dear Lena,
I usually try to steer clear of the mommy war subjects because well the reason they are that way is because these topics are so hard to generalize and come with do many emotions. There are certain things I've found that worked for our family though, nursing is one of them.
I've now nursed three babies for a combined total of 50ish months. I'm no expert, and probably never will be, but that's a lot of nursing probably at least in American standards.  The tides are changing and nursing is becoming more common though and I'm cool with that. But if formula is necessary to make sure a baby gets fed, that's a good thing too. I'm all for feeding hungry babies.
So this nursing thing, it's been a journey, Lena girl, one I'm still on. When I first started nursing, I saw it as a way to feed my baby and hopefully delay my return of fertility. It did both those things, but being a very new mom I don't think I really ever stopped to think about the bond. Now God was working in spite of me and formed a bond there anyway, but overall, I wasn't thinking much other than okay, let's feed this baby.
The second nursing experience was interesting and brought it's own challenges with elimination diets and such. And doing so made me think more on the lines that I'm protecting my baby from things that could hurt him. Baby number two was also a lot more touch oriented. I tell people if he remembered how to nurse still he probably would, instead we just hug it out a ton these days. But with him I saw nursing as something he needed and I was willing to try and sacrifice a little of my freedom at night for him to feel secure. It didn't ever occur to me y to think that it was doing me some good too.
Third time around, we actually started it rocky and I went to lactation consultants to figure out what was up, apparently, you girlfriend weren't born with your brothers' super awesome latching skills. So we had to work on it a lot, but you grew bigger and you've been fine ever since.
The one thing now with you is that, maybe it's that you are number 3, or maybe I've finally started to chill out a bit, but I actually enjoy nursing you. I see how it's calming, it calms me even. It forces me to slow down in the midst of the chaos of 3 littles. It soothes you pretty much instantly and it's pretty great. I think also that somehow I'm learning about God through our nursing. If I really let myself just stare at you in your nursing there is just so much to see, so much beauty, so much trust, so much love. It has me thinking more and more this nursing thing, it really is part of the bigger picture in a learning sense of my life long journey and that is a good thing.
So Lena girl, thanks for being you. I hope this helps you one day in the long off future.
Your mama

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