Saturday, December 1, 2012

Controversy or Understanding

There was a conversation that happened on the twitters that stuck with me. It presented the argument that "a marriage could survive off of 1.5 careers not 2."  So what does this mean exactly?

I posted this in the CathSorority feed to see what people thought of it, without any context.  It caused some heads to turn because it made one feel like one should be on the defensive about life choices.  But I don't think that was the original intension of the statement.  Here's what I think they meant... (note: you can totally disagree, I just wanted to share my thoughts and experiences here.)

When this statement was made, perhaps the author was saying that there only one person can have a full time job and pursue their goals, but I don't think that's true.  I do think however, that they were trying to say that their needs to be a balance.  A balance between work and family life.  Maybe the numbers should be 0.75 and 0.75 to make it equal and non-sexist.

When its equally 0.75 this probably means that both people have full time jobs, whatever that may be, earning money or not.  However, they also have a devotion to family and to responsibilities outside of work, things like faith and love and helping each other to dream.  This is what I think the statement author was getting at, the understanding of their being something outside of career or work.  That both people in a marriage cannot be totally set on it being about me, me, me.   Coincidentally, I think this applies to a SAHM too, because there is definitely a lot of work that goes into raising one's children. There's love too, but a lot of work nonetheless.

So, does this statement say that you can't pursue your goals, IMO I think not.  I think it actually wants you to dream even more, just together and not separate so much.  Because really, when we get married (at least as Catholics) we take on the responsibility of helping each other get to Heaven.  If we can't dream to do good things, if we can't build something worth living for, how is that helpful?

Ultimately, people come from all different places and careers and financial brackets, and there is no one solution that fits all.  Maybe there is some outliner example that fits a 2 career mold, but I think if I had to do this, I would be missing out on a lot.  I would miss that interaction to dream, to be a family, to love and to sacrifice for each other.  And that is what I think the author is meaning here. But feel free to disagree, as life wouldn't be full of variety if we all thought the same thing after all.  :)

1 comment:

  1. I actually agree with this statement, as far as my own life goes. I am in grad school, my husband works full time and we have a 3 year old daughter. My schooling is just about finished (with 6 months of rotations left) and I keep thinking that I can't wait to get out of school to work part time. The past 1 1/2 years has been a little rough as far as dinners, cleaning the house and quality time together. I don't think it would be the best thing for my family if I worked more than a part time job. However I don't think that is the same for everyone. Just my 2 cents :)