Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Dance, Dance Christa Paffgen

Today is one of those days. One of those days where I contemplate my self-worth maybe its because I'm tired, maybe its because it was a rough day at work. As much as I know I am not supposed to care about the opinions that others have of me and instead focus on what God's vision of what I am and who he is making me to be, I sometimes get hung up on the fact that most of the time I go without recognition. I guess that really I should be ok with this, and actually most of the time when I am in the spotlight I don't like it. But for some reason, when my husband gets recognized for his knowledge of this or that, I think to myself, why can't that be me. Instead of truly being happy for him. He really is the most kind person I know, and if all the bad things happened to us in this life, I think he could keep us keeping on, because he's just that cool. I dunno, I just think sometimes I come of as the person that really doesn't know anything because I rarely speak up. I know for those of you that read this I speak up on here, but in face to face life, I don't as much. At least not in most crowds.
I think the people that know me best probably know this about me. But it just was part of my thought process today, probably because I became annoyed enough to actually speak my mind to my boss today. And I thought about how this is so unlike me, but I just had to let him know that he continuously denies that I know what I am talking about and dismisses what I suggest and then suggests what I had suggested a day later and takes the credit. So I spoke up. I was tired of it being that way. And well he didn't believe me that he had told me that, and then once he knew that I was right said altered his response of not knowing the effect. So we will see where this goes.
Anyway, be aware. That silent girl in the back actually is paying attention and she has her opinion and facts she just might not want to share it.

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