What I learned from the movie Inside Out

I think I have always struggled with letting go of something.  I think that for me letting go meant that I was giving up hope and when I gave up hope that was dark and not good and I didn't want to be that way.  At the same time, I think that me not wanting to give up has helped me to persevere through many a things and learn so much in the process that if I had given up, it just wouldn't have been the same.

When I watched the Disney film Inside Out the other day, some interesting thoughts came to mind. And I think that maybe what I got out of the movie was the point of it all, maybe, or at least for me it was. It was that its okay to be sad about something.  To truly be sad for something that you miss or didn't have turn out the way you thought it would.  Because its only in that sadness that we can let go of the notion that it was meant to always be that way or that what you were given was just totally different than what you needed or wanted. To realize that its never going to be that way again, or be what you intended should make you sad.  You shouldn't have to pretend that you are happy when you are not. To let yourself truly feel what you need to feel, in a non-harmful way, is incredibly healthy.

And I realize that this is where I need to grow. I struggle to feel sadness about something and in some ways it holds me back from letting go, and from making that forward motion. I get that now.  Last year, I struggled with this so much, but I couldn't see why I couldn't do it.  I just knew I couldn't.  I struggled to really grieve and I wanted to live in the false reality that everything was okay when it wasn't.  It clearly wasn't.

So, once again, a children's film strikes me again with a bit of wisdom that I needed, and for that I'm thankful. It's an odd thing to work on, learning how to grieve, but you see for so long I didn't for so many things that I need this.  And so I'm okay to be in the sadness, the sadness is good for me.

Land Before Time

Dear Lena,

I figured I'd write this post to you.  Your brothers have been obsessed with dinosaurs lately, first it was Dinosaur Train related.  Ephraim's casts has been full of dinosaurs from this show.

Then, I introduced them to the Land Before Time and it seems there has been no going back.  Sure they appreciate Dinosaur Train, and will watch it, but there is something that has captivated them with these characters from your mama's own childhood.  And honestly I'm okay with that, to me they were pretty great characters.  My favorite is Duckie, but Benjamin seems to like Little Foot and Ephraim likes Cera and Spike. In this obsession, we have been finding many dinosaurs around the house eating appropriately.

Fennel anyone?

The T-Rex is eating ants.

And with this obsession, my artist in me has come out and honestly I like it. I get to draw things and the boys enjoy painting them. 

Cera

Spike

Little Foot painted by Ben

Little Foot again

So what I think I learned from this all is that I am glad to rediscover my like of drawing.  I sometimes wonder Lena girl if as a teenager I let peers or mentors influence me too much. But also maybe the perfectionist came out and saw science as a safe way to get through school.  I was good a science, and I knew there were jobs in science.  It seemed less subjective than art or architecture, and so that's what I chose.  But Lena girl, I think that maybe what I want to teach you is that it is okay to take risks, it doesn't mean that you have to do so, but that it is okay to fail. Its in failing that we learn.  I need to remember that more often than not, because maybe just maybe I can try things and fail and it will be okay.  And for now, I'll keep drawing dinosaurs, and probably fail at this sometimes too. :)

Love,

Your Mama