Neurodivergence part 1

There is a series called Divergent by Veronica Roth. It's not the most amazing series ever, there are things that could be developed more but it brings you along for the ride in a way that I, at least, identify with it. The society tries to pin each member into a faction that they identify with based on a test. Cue the personality tests, right? The protagonist however is split between two factions and she has to choose one or be eliminated. I feel for this character in this way, she isn't like her parents and she isn't just different in one way, it's in many ways, she's divergent after all. 

I have taken so many personality tests in self discovery, I love personality tests. They are so fun to try on this or that idea. But really a lot of times, I often find myself split in between a few different categories. With the Myers-Briggs test, it's the E/I factor that often has me debating if I am an INFJ or an ENFJ. It feels like there is no clear answer. When it comes to the four temperaments, I feel mostly melancholic but also see a choleric and a phlegmatic, though that last one probably comes as a trauma response, oh life. And then you have the beloved enneagram that gets at one's core weaknesses. With the enneagram, I have typed myself anywhere from a 1 to an 9, but never a 3 or 7. Currently, I've landed on a 5w6, but really it could be a 6w5 depending on the day, because both are so very close to how I operate. But let's not forget those tests that label how you operate how to operate in strengths and weaknesses in the work place, the strengths finder test, and in that one I am all over the place, people cannot place me one bit. 

All of this is to say that as fun as it is to try on this or that, I know you can get stuck in being one thing, but hah, I really cannot be one thing. I want to try and understand myself, but in understanding myself it becomes more and more confusing. It would be nice to have more peace with this, right? Maybe that will happen in time, I can hope. 

In the last year, I had a behavioral evaluation for my son, who I thought was a quirky kid, and his school that I have him also thought he was a quirky kid. Well, he did turn out to be a quirky kid with like 4 different diagnoses that meant, he was neurodivergent. Applause, ladies and gentlemen. The divergent mom created a neurodivergent kid, who would have thought, huh? On top of that if you add in K's ADHD hyperfocus abilities, you know we are set to have a whole slew of quirky kids. And for sure we do. 

When I began to understand my oldest son's qualities, some of them I didn't have trouble with comprehending them, they weren't scary to me. With one in particular, it was more difficult to see. I was strongly questioning the diagnosis. "What do you mean he's autistic or special needs? Why do people keep saying that?" He's not like the autistic kids that I knew. It didn't matter that so many strangers and well meaning people had tried to tell me that my kid was extra special, or really for them he was so dang hard to control, they always had to call me for reinforcement, cue the homeschooling. He was so freaking smart and gregarious, that it worked for a good while to have the world be our school. With the diagnosis, when I dove deeper into it, it was like oh, ooooohhhh, I can see this. And then of course I thought about my other kiddos and for sure they all are quirky in their own rights too. I mean usually you don't have the principal having you tell you about melt down incidents for your 6 year old but mine totally does. However, again, what should I have expected? Nothing less than this, and actually it's pretty fascinating and I actually mostly love trying to help them be the best human being they can be. It's like the lab followed me home even though I gladly left academia behind. 

I'll add more to this soon, but I think I need to stop for today. So let's label this part 1 of ...