Thursday, July 16, 2009

putting the why behind the don't

So growing up, the mentality from adults seemed to be to tell kids don't do it, but never to give realistic consequences, or only to give scare tactics.

Or in other situations, when you had to do something, there was never a good reason why you had to do it, you just had to.

Maybe this worked for some kids, but for the most, and myself included, it led to pushing the boundaries.

So why do parents or guardians or adults in authority say these things without reasonable explanation?

1.) That's the way their parents or teachers etc did and and despite wanting to be different they practice the same technique here.

2.) The adult already has their own problems to deal with and doesn't want to get into the why at the moment, or the why makes them uncomfortable because they themselves have never really thought about why they do something.

3.) Playing off the last one, they don't know the why behind the not or the must of doing something.

I think that there are probably more reasons, and maybe less critical reasons behind the lack of explanation, but these are what I came up with.

Now as for giving an explanation why, sometimes scare tactics are involved, especially with sex. There is always the pregnancy or STD factor that is brought up. But I am pretty sure there is no real explanation as to why it is better to have sex with only your spouse, and how sex is a reflection of God's love. Instead at least in my youth experience, sex was bad, dirty, and only the kids without morals had it. No explanation as to the why behind not engaging in it was good. Nothing about how waiting will actually give you time to figure out who you are, and what you want without having added more complication. And to actually have security in your relationship etc.

anyway, without going into more detail, I want to be the parent who can give the why behind something and have it be loving and truthful. I'll have to let you know further down the road if this idea actually gets put into practice well or not.

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