Monday, February 25, 2008

Why suicide?

Today, I heard of a former Union student committing suicide. Jonathan Stonecipher
This is not the first of suicides that I have been so incredibly sorrowful over. My high school principal shot himself late last year. A young sixth grader in the town that my husband grew up in killed herself over getting a bad grade on something.
It makes me wonder, what brings these individuals to this. Today I had a discussion with someone about how duplicity is very accepted in our society. You say Hi how are you to so many people. and the answer is always "fine," or if you are a grad student, then its simply "tired." but really are we fine everytime this is asked. No. Absolutely not. Especially if you have a personality like my own where there is always a problem to fix due to my analytical brain. (that and I want to fix the world all the time.) But that inner self, not many people if any really know what is truely going on inside. We can make guesses, we can think through actions of a person, but unless they open up and you actually listen, well then we don't know. And even if you think this is the relationship you have with your spouse or boyfriend, I am sure you still don't know everything going on inside. Only God knows. In some ways, I wonder if we open this up to God, we can then open up these parts of us to at least one person that is the dearest to us. Because we need to be accountable to someone. To truely be accountable to someone. I can see the beauty in reconciliation in this manner. It's a check to see what is really going on inside, not just that you did something wrong, but why you did it, and how you can go to improve in it to grow deeper in God. To feel less isolated, to feel more loved.

This former student that died, he had a wife and a child, a beautiful boy, who will probably never understand why Daddy isn't there anymore. At least not till he's older. It breaks my heart. I never want that for anyone. Everyone deserves to have a father. And the woman who lost her husband, wow. She definitely seems to be strong, and Thanks so much to Daddy God for that. Her strength will make this loss into something that God can use her life for something greater than she can imagine. And that is the one beauty of these unfourtunate trajedies. That God has something greater in mind for us even though we have absolutely no idea how something good could come from such loss. Let us simply not be apathetic to it all. Let us remember to pray for the soul lost in his sanctification process through pergatory, and for those that loved him dearly. So simply pray. Praying is what unites us all.

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