Judgemental Me and the Woes of NFP

Simcha Fisher is a fabulous writer.  With her straight to the point attitude about all things Catholic, its really refreshing to read her blog.  Recently she wrote a post about NFP and how we are always judging others in their spacing of kiddos and why the Catholic Church doesn't have super specific rules for use of NFP. You can find it here.

I know from the short 4 years of being Catholic NFP is a hot topic.  For the Catholics that follow it can be refreshing, but it also with it come challenges.  Things I never really thought about in the first year of marriage.  I mean honestly the science behind NFP is actually quite easy (in most cases, I know some folks have difficulties with cycles), but the practice of it is a little more challenging.  Basically its because it 1.) requires you to be on the same page as your spouse about all things sex related  2.) Requires you trust God instead of throwing something between you and God.

Trusting God is hard in general, and when it comes to baby making well of course since its a life changing/making thing its gonna be super hard.  I know for my own self, that I have definitely had my prayers that consist of yelling at God because I don't like the circumstances he has put me in when it comes to making a new life.  But as Simcha Fisher put it that is one of the great things about NFP, is that it forces to to talk to God about your circumstances.  It opens things up and helps to keep a relationship with him, and as for us Catholics, it doesn't make us fully go by the book on what the Church says.  Because as she says God wants to hear from us on this, not just go by what the church says.  So despite what some folks think about the Catholic church, the members of it do pray to God one on one in words of their own especially about things like this.

For me whether it was a miscarriage, or a semi-stint with infertility, or now not being done with breast feeding but being pregnant among other things (yes, there is a new little one on the way and it was planned), these are things that I have had to go to God one on one and with my spouse too because we want God in our marriage!  It doesn't eliminate the hardness of them, it just lets him know that all 4 (God, Keith, me, and baby) are in this together. And we are gonna trust, and what better way to trust than with this very big and personal part of our lives.

And so to end on maybe a not so positive note, I titled part of this post as Judgemental Me.  And Simcha touches on our judging of others with their practice of NFP.  I know I so find myself doing this, worst of all places in the middle of mass.  Why I dunno?  But I've started to think more and more about it and I know that God will only give you what you can handle.  But at the same time I don't know each individual's heart.  And to say you need to have another baby would be rude and maybe not what they need right now.  I think something that I always forget about what the Catechism says about NFP use is that we are supposed to be responsible parents.  And to sometimes have another baby wouldn't be the responsible thing, or vice versa we could be irresponsible by wanting the latest gadget instead of being open to life.  It goes both ways.

So I don't know where you stand on this all, but from just a few years experience under my belt I sure could do a whole lot more praying and learning in this topic.  I want to become more compassionate in this area, but also let people know about the amazingness of NFP versus contraception in their marriage. So I guess it comes down to pray, pray, pray and trust, trust, trust.
Have a good Wednesday!

Things I would normally write on twitter but can't

due to social media fasting during the day. Though since they are on here, they are gonna be more than 140 characters. :)

1. Just so it makes sense, I decided on a social media fast during baby waking hours during lent, so that I can be more present and also when I long to check facebook, I can remember to trust Jesus, as that seems to be a pressing need in my life right now.

2. Random happening at Target yesterday.  When I went in to buy party supplies for Ben's big 1st birthday bash we were oddly greated by two police peoples or may security folks (I say this because it was a guy and gal combo) accosting a shoplifter that apparently was totally being non-compliant.  A little scary to say the least, though Ben wasn't phased at all.

3. Insanely, my entire big old family is coming to Ben's 1st birthday bash this weekend.  Insanity of 20 people in my little house.  Praying we get thru it without drama.  As the inlaws will also be there, and for some reason jealousy always ensues.  And with my current state I suck at keeping things inside.

4. I used to be the person that would try to get more than one wear out of a piece of clothing, but now thi seems to never happen, because now, they are food encrusted by my baby/toddler.  Which is he by the way?

5. So totally not changing Ben's Ben time didn't backfire, but oddly he adjusted to the new time.  What's up with that?  I, on the other hand, am still so sleepy!

6. I am making a meal for Maggie's Place today, here's to hoping its well received.

7. I'm excited about Honey Hut opening tomorrow and in celebration our little family is taking a walk there in the evening for ice cream deliciousness!  w00t!

snow, non-studentdom, and other tid-bits.

I realized that I haven't blogged in a while. I wanted to write a post on compassion vs. moral obligation, but I totally don't have the brain capacity to delve into it tonight.  There are a few things happening around here, some good, and some I'm not read to discuss.

Anyway, yesterday we had a huge blizzard that actually closed CWRU, which is such a rareity since Case stays open for almost everything that I feel like it should be marked down in history so that's what i am doing.  I also decided that I would much rather have a blizzard than a tornado which happens in the warmer climates during this time year.  Having experienced more tornadoes than I would like to in my college experience, I can vouch for this want of a blizzard.  I honestly think this would also be one of my major deterrents for living in the southern midwest. Well, that and the insane humid summers.

Thursday, I officially turned everything in for graduation, and this means I have no more obligations to the school that impend my graduating.  Instead now I must clean out my office and turn in my keys.  A sad day it might be that I do that, but at least its no longer impending doom.

Ben has developed this hair pulling habit that I think he does out of frustration, but I don't really understand why he wants to self-inflict pain on himself.  If this something I should worry about let me know.  I think its simply a sign of more teeth further back in the mouth coming in.

We went to a birthday party today and it was fun.  However, this means that Ben's birthday is approaching upon us.  It's crazy to think that he is soon one.  Or as my husband says he will upgrade from 3G to 4G.  Apparently 4G is meaningless but I guess to him this is his way of saying that Ben is having a birthday.

So yeah, I am super tired and so am going to turn in. Have an excellent second part of the weekend.

7 quick takes

1. Ben took some first steps a day shy of 11 months, and I was super excited for him. But I am sure I will miss my baby soon.

2. I screwed up a deadline for graduation and luckily was approved an extension.  But I have totally been working my butt off to get it done by February 25th.

3. Last Friday Ben and I checked out the Children's museum of Cleveland and he loved it.  Unfortunately we had a little fall when there, but the crying was short lasted, and he didn't want the fun to end.

4. Tents have been made constantly with lots of laughter ensued.  And apparently throwing magnets at a refrigerator is hilarious as well.

5. I've been enjoying the Live Out Loud podcast.  I just keep thinking about how I wish I knew more teenagers like the host.  Maybe she will go on to be the next Lila Rose.

6. We recorded another podcast. All about the planned parenthood investigations and other current news.  If you want to listen to it here is a link: The Contranauts Episode 33

7. I am anticipating a warm up this weekend, and even though I like winter, I could do without the block of ice that is my driveway that has been here since 2 Wednesdays ago.

Quick Takes is hosted at Conversion Diary

Snowbound

Granted this is Cleveland, but it seems that lately there has been quite a good amount of snow here.  This makes me feel like curling up with a good book and hot chocolate or tea.  For proof of the constant snow here are some views from my window:

Granted I choose to live here, and actually love the snow, so really I'm not complaining.  I just wanted to give you a taste of our little winter wonderland. 

The complaint I do have, is simply I went to the library to pick out a book to read, and was all excited to read a book about living in the city.  But no, that's not what the book is really about.  So after about 10 pages in, I am done with it, and must take it back tomorrow or tonight for a different book.  I realized that I have read most of what are on my bookshelves at home, so the library becomes necessary for new material.  Of the books that I have read though, I think I actually only enjoyed one of them, title The Quickening, all the other ones have just been so so.  I guess part of my issue is that I don't want to search for a book forever, so I just pick one up from the displayed books.  This means, I am kinda judging a book by its cover and I am definitely doing a poor job of it. I am thinking that I should return to the classics or get books that were recommended to me.  I obviously am doing a terrible job of picking things up on a whim. If you have a must read for me than just leave it in the comment section and I will be sure to look for it at the library.  I read pretty much anything in the fiction category as long as its not a romance novel that is just gross.  

March 4 Life

I am always sad now when I cannot go to the National March For Life in DC.  I know that right now for good reason why I can't go, but my heart is always there.  I know once you have gone, you always want to return and fight for life.  Anyway, I don't have that many words to say, though if you follow me on Facebook you would have noticed that I have put up a pro-life quote for each day since last Wednesday.

One thing is that I love that my husband goes to it with the teens, even though he's gone from home for a while, its still super awesome that he's on the same page as me in defending life.  And that is something for which I thank God.

Thoughts about attachment parenting

Attachment parenting has been on my mind lately.  More than a few moms I know have had to stop co-sleeping with their babies, due to lack of sleep issues.  As a result, I began to ponder another mom blogger's motto about every baby is different and we need to always keep that in check.  I think this also goes along with the fact that every parent is different too. I am trying to understand rather than judge parenting decisions these days when it comes to each individual child and parent.  While I think some folks like myself are totally attachment parents to the whole nine yards, others are APs in other aspects and others APs in aspects unbeknownst to them, and others not at all.  I think now, after pondering this in my mind a bit, that I am coming to respect each parents decision with their child.  Some children need some detachment to function better, and other need the attachment to function better.

When it comes to co-sleeping some children thrive off of it, and others do not.  At the same time some parents like myself, seem to get their best sleep with a co-sleeping baby, while other parents maybe because of the babies habits may not.  I guess it comes down to being adaptable and finding what works best for everyone that would be affected.

What I have noticed in my own child's behavior is that when it comes to sleep he is very dependent on me, but then when it comes to playing he is very independent and sometimes I have to force myself to get inside his little world of destructo baby land to remember to keep talking with him.  I sometimes have associated this with APing but I am starting to realize its probably more of a temperament thing.  Maybe being an AP does sometimes make him less of a scaredy cat in some situations, but since I only have one subject to observe at the moment its really hard to say.

I guess as a come away from this, I would have to say that for myself I am trying to judge less with parenting styles and realize that folks do what is best for their family situation.  I also think sometimes for the first it is easier to do one thing than it is for maybe the 4th or 6th kiddo.  So, as I try to judge less, I still think we know in our gut what is best for us when it comes to these situations, but I am also trying to remember that I am molding a little child of God here and keeping that in check is always good to remember.

Anyway that's what is on my mind lately.  Hope you are having a wonderful week so far.