why get married in a church?

Here's a question that I posed on Facebook that got really good responses:

Kiera Kurak: Not to offend anyone, but do you think one of the reasons that people no longer have weddings inside of churches is that the modern church is no longer made to look beautiful on the inside?

JG at 11:56am June 12:
I think that when the church doesn't have beauty on the inside, it loses the sense of tradition, which is probably one of the main reasons why people would have a wedding in a church. Tradition and faith. And let's face it, Americans are becoming more secular at times like this and they would probably have a wedding inside a church for tradition. So yes, I definitely concur.

But on the other hand, people have weddings at other places for a "once in a lifetime" feel. You can always be in a church, but can you have a wedding in Hawaii anyday you choose? Or because they just are not religious or it does not mean much to them.

MH at 12:09pm June 12
I'm glad you brought this up. The churches around here (at least the 2 catholic ones I've been in) are not pretty at all because they are modern. I think they were built in a time when the church was trying to show that it was with the times and not dogged down in tradition, but I don't like the more modern churches that much. Especially ones that are semi- circular. I like my rows of pews and stained glass windows. I know some religions think fancy stuff is too flashy and detracting from the purpose of church (worshipping God) and I see their point. But I think it shows that church is a special place. I think I would like to get married in a church, but I'd like it to be a traditional church. So I think you guys are onto something. Although there is something to be said for Hawaii =)

KW at 12:29pm June 12
I totally concur with you guys...but I still wanna get married @ St. Basils no matter what...Hawaii can be my honeymoon spot...it sounds too typical nowadays, wanting a destination wedding (like Hawaii)...sounds cool but too cliche nowadays

JS at 1:11pm June 12
I think that's part of it, but I think it is also because so many people don't have their faith as an important part of their life. If God isn't important and church isn't important, then why should a church wedding be important? I don't think many other faiths have the basis in tradition (whether that be good or bad or indifferent) as the Catholic church does, so I think a fancy church wedding is just traditionally more important to Catholics and htheir families than it is to many other faiths.

What are your thoughts on this?

checking in

so I haven't really posted about much in over a month. Must be a dryspell. Or just too busy. In the past month I have flown across the country to a conference in a cold but beautiful and transportationally efficient city, then went the city of my birthplace. That was a big deal, I hadn't been there since I was a few months old. I loved it too. If I had to pick somewhere to live in CA, that would be the place. My mom called later to check in and she said that Sacramento was the one place that she liked in CA too. It's kinda funny, up to this point, I thought I liked all of No. Cal. but hated all of So. Cal. Well, I still don't care much for So. Cal. visit and talk to the people and you might agree and the traffic is outrageous (someone needs to teach them conservation!) But now my No. Cal. likings have been refined. I like the areas of the redwoods, the area around Santa Rosa is amazing, and Yosemite is awesome. But I have ruled out San Fran, its just not appealing to me, too cold, too windy, too liberal, too expensive, too dirty. But Sacramento had more of a big little city feel to it. It was nice just to walk around. Anyway, so after that we hiked two days in Yosemite and then flew home. It was a lot of driving!! In a PT cruiser, a very odd car. If you want in another post, I can list the top ten reasons why I wouldn't get one. What saved the day is that my husband bought this amazing Euro phone for me a Nokia N79, and since we were in back country, we used the FM transmitter on it to play all my favorite albums. It made for a much better trip. So then I came back and have been painting and finishing up final corrections on my second journal article. w00t! OK, off to go paint. Love to all.

do you take on the angry?

So lately there's been a certain person that is extremely angry and passionate about the pro-abort stance on one of my social networking sites. A friend/aquaintance of a family member, a sweet girl really. Very grateful for her help in the past with things. But I am just wondering why did she become suddenly so angry siding with the pro-abort stances? After reading her posts, she has come to stereotype those of pro-life stances as 1.) being afraid of sex 2.)fear mongers 3.) those who want to press their faith agenda on someone that doesn't believe in God and 4.)bullies of those in difficult situations. 5.)and I forgot, apparently pro-lifers are anti-adoption as well.
Fellow pro-lifers is this true?

1.)Afraid of Sex?
As I am a birth-control free girl who has sex, I would have to say no to this one. Granted, I do think sex is designed for a married committed relationship, due to the damages that happen from the instability of a non-committed relationship. Biologically speaking there are chemicals released during sex that bond one person to another, that get messed up if there is no commitment there. So no, we are not afraid of sex, we just want it to occur where it the fullness of it can be achieved.

2.) fear mongers?
So as to tackle fear mongers, I just have to say really who's the one afraid of having babies, the pro-lifer, or the pro-abort? If having a child is something to be afraid of, then why have we been doing it from the beginning of time. In our society today, pregnancy has become disease-like and must be avoided at all cost. Its like our own humanity scares us so much that we have to void it with all our might. Really think about it, how did you get here? Umm, well, yeah, your parents had sex. But again society has told us that sex should come with no consequences, and I can't even fully discuss the ramifications of that here. But really safe sex? Is there such a thing when you have risks involved with all the contraceptive devices. Its been proven that condoms don't prevent 100% against STDs and especially HIV, and people still get pregnant when on hormonal birth control. So really what is safe? To me it means I have a ring on my finger vows said faithfully so that I know I am safe in having sex, no infidelity included.

3.)those who want to press their faith agenda on someone that doesn't believe in God?
Here I have to say the believe in God is definitely a well-sized bonus to understanding sex, and being pro-life. But really we have secular humanists marching with us in the March for Life, and political groups not associated with religion. My husband and I, while devout Catholics, do think that there is argument that you don't have to believe in God to value life. You just have to think that life is something worth fighting for, something important. More important than material things and wealth. That's it.

4.)bullies of those in difficult situations
Well the media would like you to think so with this one. What they report are the crazies, and so we as a pro-life movement get a bad name. Are we all that crazy? Do we all harass someone who has had an abortion? No. Actually we (the pro-life movement) set up a lot of medical and psychological care facilities for post-abortive women, those facing difficult decisions with an unexpected pregnancy, and actually when it comes to rape, some pro-life scholars argue for emergency contraceptives (not sure if I agree with this, and I know if I was raped, I would keep the baby, but its out there).

5.) pro-lifers are anti-adoption.
No, the problem that stems this arguement, is that we feel it a right to have children instead of it being a gift. So we put so much emphasis on having biological children enough to go through laboratory methods of the extreme variety that adoption is seen as a last resort. To me I think adoption is an amazing gift as well, and not one to be taken lightly. But a lot of people because they stress that biological children are a must, they only want children like themselves, and this is from both sides of the spectrum, leftists and rightists think this alike. To adopt is not second rate, and to adopt outside of your ethnic background is not second rate, but both are equal to a biological child. Especially to the infertile or those who have the monetary means to give the child food, love and a roof over its head. So to answer this, there are probably some miseducated pro-lifers that are anti-adoption, but the majority sees it as a way to give that life a better option than one full of hardship.

and with that I am done. Do you think this response would hold up to her remarks? If you have suggestions on strengthening the argument let me know. Thanks :)

annoyed

Why do we try to control all aspects of life? Why aren't people allowed to be the way that they were created to be, instead we have to mask things. Why is it insane to be a mom of 5, or 9. I think they are pretty cool. They have definitely learned humility in their lives. It's one thing to abstain in marriage due to grave reasons such as medical issues, extreme financial issues (not a "I can't afford a new car anymore if we have a baby"), mental health issues etc. Its another to have sex and eliminate the life giving aspect of it. It seems more and more that somehow people have it in their minds that they get to be done with God's will for their lives when it comes to children. They use any kind of barrier or potentially cancerous alteration to make sure that they don't have to sacrifice the ideal life. It's insane. I really want to be the mom with at least 5 kids that everyone looks down upon because I have too many kids. I mean I hope that they would be excited about the largish family, but it seems that when you have more than 2 kids these days, its a big family and too much to handle. I mean as of present, I'm not sure what God has in mind for the size of my family because I only have been able to make a little one that only after a few weeks in the womb went to heaven. But I have this strong desire to have a largish family whether it be natural or adopted. Honestly, adoption seems like a really great option if you want to help those that no one else wants, meaning a special needs child or a multi-racial/minority child. Both of which are awesome gifts from God because they teach us supposedly normal folks so much about life and how selfish we really are. Anyway, I am good with where I am, at least I am working on being ok with where God has placed me. But, I just don't want everyone around me to mask the beauty of what God has given them. To truly understand what a man and woman are meant to be is amazing, and how much God has written himself into us is amazing, to mask that means you miss so much of the gifts that God has given you.

about an hour after I wrote this, I read this interview. Definitely good to have someone backing me up. The Mom Squad

excellent quote from another blog

"And so the 40 year period after Vatican II was increasingly characterized by a kind of cult of ambiguity and moral indeterminacy. The less certain a person sounded, the more mature and sophisticated was he considered to be, and the more clear, certain and determinate a person was on moral issues, the less credibility he enjoyed." - DEACON DOUGLAS MCMANAMAN

this song makes me laugh

its true though, makes the humanity seem more real. And since that is my weeks reflection, I think that this helps with that. And if you don't know the band Popple, well then you are missing out.


Just Like Us by Popple

One day God got a plan
He’d come to Earth as a man
So he packed up his bags and came down, in the form of Jesus
Now Jesus wasn’t like me
Cause He was fully God you see
And He was perfection, and that certainly don’t describe me

But in a different way
He was human and from day to day
He had struggles, and temptations just like we all do
And so, He is our example
We take parts of His life to sample
Cause in His greatness, he was still a human just like you and me

He warmed the cold hearted
Largest seas he parted
Don’t forget, he’s just like us
Ya, even Jesus farted

So next time you start
To think you don’t have the heart
Just remember, Jesus had the same one that you have

"I've been so many people to so many people..."

I am completely exhausted today. I think I put too much effort into worrying about things that turn out fine in the long run. So why do I worry, why do I not trust God that it will be ok? That is something I am gonna continue contemplating. I mean it would be easy to blame it on society pressures, or what my parents expect of me, or even what my boss expects of me. But the thing is this, I am trying. And putting my best foot forward, or at least attempting to, in everything that I do. I think the part of me that worries is the perfectionist. The part that I don't want to be but still am and so it manifests itself in worry. I am slowly realizing more and more the need for silence, the need for contemplative prayer, for listening, because they are assuring that it is ok. That God is still holding my hand, and not letting go. THe other thing I realized is that these things are really hard for me to do. I would give anything to be able to shut of my constantly thinking head and be in total silence, but I can't. Again, though I try.

Trying is not the same as almost doing something though, trying in my book means I keep at it, I keep persisting, I keep wanting to be at peace, to not worry. And sometimes there is glimpses of it, which is excellent, really excellent.

I think part of my strive to do it all perfectly is that I like that well done remark, today I didn't get it. But that is ok, I need to be ok with the imperfection of myself. Those parts that I want to be brilliant but really only shine when Jesus takes hold of them. Its odd sometimes how beautiful and perfect Jesus is. We romanticize his humanity a little much though I think. He probably would never make today's hottest 100 men list. Nor would he make the best dressed list. To me he would be that skinny awkward looking fellow, that probably had crooked teeth, and probably didnt smell all that spectacular either, though the people of the time were probably used to everyone being smelly. I wonder if they based beauty on the amount of odor a person had back in the day, that would be odd to see. Though I know today, if you sit on the train beside a smelly man, well its not the best experience in the world.

Anyway, so you see the perfectionist in me wants myself to be perfect in all facets, but the problem is that I am judging that by man-made standards, ones that are virtually flawed by the fact that they are from men. So what does it come down to then?

Well I am a daughter of a King. A king I tell you! So that makes me a princess :), and so who is the one person that I have to answer to? Well the king obviously. So, should I worry about living up to this person's standards, or society's teaching on this or that. Only if they are in agreement with the king, and that King is Jesus. Jesus, the one who totally goes against the norm of what is right, and the one that people hated because he stood for truth, and was God in all his humanity. He was God in all his humanity....hmmm. His humanity of scrapes and bruises, pimples and blisters, of dry skin and smelly feet. None of these were sins, they didn't violate the fact that he was still sinless and perfect.

And we are made in the image of God, a perfect God, but what is perfection really if we base it off the wrong standard? I think now it becomes meaningless, though somehow we still hide ourselves and are shameful of not living up to the societal standard. Maybe we should rethink this. I know I need to, being the daughter of a King and all.