I think I have always struggled with letting go of something. I think that for me letting go meant that I was giving up hope and when I gave up hope that was dark and not good and I didn't want to be that way. At the same time, I think that me not wanting to give up has helped me to persevere through many a things and learn so much in the process that if I had given up, it just wouldn't have been the same.
When I watched the Disney film Inside Out the other day, some interesting thoughts came to mind. And I think that maybe what I got out of the movie was the point of it all, maybe, or at least for me it was. It was that its okay to be sad about something. To truly be sad for something that you miss or didn't have turn out the way you thought it would. Because its only in that sadness that we can let go of the notion that it was meant to always be that way or that what you were given was just totally different than what you needed or wanted. To realize that its never going to be that way again, or be what you intended should make you sad. You shouldn't have to pretend that you are happy when you are not. To let yourself truly feel what you need to feel, in a non-harmful way, is incredibly healthy.
And I realize that this is where I need to grow. I struggle to feel sadness about something and in some ways it holds me back from letting go, and from making that forward motion. I get that now. Last year, I struggled with this so much, but I couldn't see why I couldn't do it. I just knew I couldn't. I struggled to really grieve and I wanted to live in the false reality that everything was okay when it wasn't. It clearly wasn't.
So, once again, a children's film strikes me again with a bit of wisdom that I needed, and for that I'm thankful. It's an odd thing to work on, learning how to grieve, but you see for so long I didn't for so many things that I need this. And so I'm okay to be in the sadness, the sadness is good for me.
