So I have decided that I have become way too obsessed with the fact that people don't like the changes I have made in my life. Well too bad, get over it. I like being me, and I am happy being me. And enough is enough.
Today my arm hurts alot. Probably because I decided to vacuum and lift many heavy objects dig a few holes. and then carry a suitcase a good half mile or so. Fun stuff. I guess that I haven't explained why my arm should hurt abnormally. You see I managed to break my arm in the fall due to not knowing the proper way of falling. My husband is however, great at falling, so he dives all the time without a scratch. Anyway, since breaking my elbow in the fall, I have now in the spring discovered that my arm once again is acting up. So I went to see a doctor, they were like yeah you have a piece of your bone in your elbow joint that is causing you pain. So eventually when the insurance decides that it ok I will get an MRI and then probably have some sort of surgery to get the fragment out. So maybe, just maybe I can have a non-hurt arm again. In the mean time, I will try to attempt doing things as a lefty when it comes to the heavy lifting and the vacuuming and even trying to start the lawn mower, which I totally cannot do anymore, grr.
Anyway, I had a good conversation with a friend last night about the line between helping and hurting someone by calling them out on something. This is a very hard line to stay on the helping side. At least for me because I observe things a lot. I observe people and read about the habits of people, so sometimes I want to be like can't you just learn to do this. Why can't you see that this is harming you. It becomes a crazy mess. Sometimes by pointing out the behavior in the way I do, I actually enable it. Other times, I just lecture the person till they feel bad about their behavior, but they don't know how to fix it, or to please me. But that totally misses the point. The point is that Jesus charges me to help people. And sometimes my human ways just hurt. Because most of the time the person needs to figure it out their self, because their own conscience needs to be convicted. They need to see the harm or the destruction. The pain that comes of it. If they don't see it they aren't gonna change. They are gonna think well thats nice and keep doing the same thing. I think really I have learned that most of the time, and I'm still learning this, that people just want you to listen to them. Only give advice when they ask for it. I have the tendency to have the know-it-all personality, so I want to put my two cents in constantly. Its a struggle to sit back and listen. But God wants me to do that and to be there for people when they need it.
My friend said for her she wants people to do as she would in a situation or with a certain issue. We concluded this was natural, and at times only due to what our preferences in life are. We forget that Jesus loved everybody. So it is a daily struggle to help and not harm. I mean I did it today. I sometimes think it crazy that my advisor's wife lives a good 15 hours away. But my co-worker reminded me that not everyone needs to have people surrounding them like I do. It made me think of those people that have to deal with their spouse being away due to military duty. I don't think I could do it, I mean maybe I could with God's help, but I think I would have to find a good group of friends to have companionship around me.
Anyway, I am glad that I am choosing to do youth ministry. I think it will help me to not judge, but to help, and sometimes to just listen. :)