Friday, April 23, 2021

Birth Story

 I absolutely wanted to write down Oscar's birth story. But I haven't been able to because we had a high needs baby that would not let me sit down to type at all. Honestly I was often terrified to pick up the phone, because it was going to end in a breakdown. Walks weren't even peaceful because somehow they just wouldn't work for little O. But we have gotten some treatment and fixed a tongue tie and I feel like today is the first day I can breathe with this baby. So here is his birth story.

For the month prior to Oscar's birth there was a lot of prodromal labor, meaning a start and stop of contractions that were warm up ones that would be getting my body ready for the read deal. The problem with prodromal labor is that it never becomes real labor that amounts in a baby and its oh so tiring. I think I was miserable enough that a few friends sent a meal prior to baby and I absolutely appreciated it. 

So 37 weeks came and went. 38 weeks came and went. 39 weeks came and went. 40 weeks came and went. The whole neighborhood was watching me as there was nothing else to do in the pandemic but be on baby watch. Any time someone saw me out on a walk they would be surprised that I was still pregnant. We went on a lot of walks, many to the local coffee shop. Oscar is half made of Metropolitan Coffee bakery. 

At one point I realized that I was paranoid that I wasn't going to be able to go into labor with the kids home, so I grumbled about it and eventually Keith believed me that this was what I needed as I kept not going into labor. I also was concerned with the positioning of Oscar because there was so much start and stop labor that I though maybe he was stuck. So I went in to an ultrasound clinic for a position check. It caters to the homebirth crowd and maybe the unsure about pregnancy crowd. It was great to see him and while he was in love with his hand, it wasn't in his way for exit. I felt incredibly relieved. 

The boys went to their grandparent's house that night and I definitely felt more at piece because my late night kids weren't on site and I could rest a little better. Just the girls remained and they are down by 9pm at the absolute latest. And on top of that because I was supposed to have forest school with the kids the next day but I told the other moms that i wasn't up for it, the one said we want to take your girls to the zoo, and so I knew in the morning my girls would be gone. 

So what do you know but at 5am labor started, and it continued and became stronger instead of fizzling out. I put together a puzzle in between contractions and then started another one while sitting on the yoga ball, but the second one never got finished, the contractions were too hard. I have to note that this whole time I was watching the Gilmore Girls, its my labor show, it is so familiar and calming that I am just in a zone with it. I texted my midwife at 8 to let her know that labor was happening and by 11, Keith said you should probably tell her to come now. So we did, and she came by noon. Baby was born at 1pm on the dot after just two pushes. The amazing thing was that he was 10pounds and 2 ounces. I had no idea that he was that big because his labor wasn't that terrible. Stella at 10lbs was tough, but she was also positioned the wrong way at first and had to spin on her head a bit. Oscar was in the perfect spot to come right on out. I think he was getting there the whole time in the last month of the start and stop labor. 

So we had him and it was pretty calm despite having a baby. The girls came home the next night and the boys the night after. They all mostly loved their new brother. 

But then something went amiss. Little buddy at about a week old started needing a lot of care, a lot of movement and just became uneasy to settle. He stopped nursing to sleep. He started having to be rocked all the time, or bounced or walked up and down the stairs. Part of me though, well maybe now I finally get my high needs baby, but also I was emotionally a wreck because it was hard, like really hard and 1 week post partum you should not be getting 10,000 steps without trying because you are just trying to pacify the baby. At 3 weeks it was a bit worse, and we visited the subject of reflux. I took the baby in at a month old and they said that dairy was possibly the culprit and I kind of thought he didn't react well to it. I made him super gassy, so we cut that out and still have it cut out mostly. And yet it still wasn't the issue. 

It wouldn't be till 7 weeks old that I was able to process that this wasn't okay, and I called a breastfeeding hotline. And the lactation consultant listened to me and based on all the things I was saying told me that I should have him evaluated for tongue tie and reflux. And it turns out he has both and a mild case of laryngomalacia, which makes him flare up a little more even so and have some weird breathing things. It is supposed to slowly resolve itself to be fine by age 1. 

And so here we are, processing and loving on this little guy. Welcome to the world Oscar. 

Btw, yes, he is named after St. Oscar Romero.  

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