He's SIX!

I wrote this on an Instagram post.

And we have a six year old! Buddy, you bring us so much joy with your enthusiasm and your creativity. We never know what you will invent or make next. You get an idea and follow through to the end. You are determined to be the fastest and aren't afraid to try new things. Happy 6th birthday, Ephraim Gerard!

I would say its all very true. There are things that just appear with this one, like, lets make a paddle out of a stick and duct tape or we apparently needed a tree on our wall for some scenery because there it was. A profile of Mario is methodically made out of Lego bricks or a map of the local aquarium is drawn out in scroll form. My hope that his creativity never goes away we appreciate it despite never knowing where the scissors or tape are in the house without an inquiry from Ephraim. 

He has the biggest heart for his baby sister, probably because everyone tells him he looks like her and he loves that someone is like him.  He will make the silliest of noises or a crazy stunt and make Stella laugh uncontrollably.  There is definitely a neat bond there that I hope matures with time and lasts for the rest of your lives. 

You pick up things quickly but can be fierce in resistance when its something you don't want to do. You are adventuresome in what you do as you declared to me yesterday that you touched 10 sting rays at the touch tank while I turned up my nose at the fish scrap infested waters. You keep us moving and you are always up for a good race. You even are willing to rise early to voluntarily watch your mama play soccer at 8am and then also be the ball boy on top of that. 

May you never stop running a million miles an hour or creating worlds upon worlds. 

We love you so much Ephraim Gerard! Here's to another awesome year in store for you!

Photo credit : Grace Lyons

Photo Credit : Grace Lyons

Maybe I'm not entirely broken anymore

So, I don't have it all together. I really don't. I may seem to flawlessly take on the job of mama with four kids that home schools, but there are many bumps and bruises along the way. Last week we spent most of it being sick, this week it seems we are recovering, though at the same time we are still not 100%.

I think what I'm referring to is that right now, I don't feel like I am at a place of a major breakthrough or drama piece. Life is what it is, I'm not in near mourning and I'm not figuring out what to do with a new baby, nor am I pregnant or trying to piece together something huge of what I thought was but isn't or even planning for a crazy excursion. Instead I've got ho hum life going on, and its wonderful and messy and I yell probably way more than I should about doors being left open and legos being within the baby's reach. I think I'm learning what it is to be in a routine and to see who I am when I'm not in crisis. I am still chock full of sin and I can't hold my tongue to save my life, but I think its nice to be here in this brief lull of everyday business.

I have been doing a lot of forming the community that I need around me in the last 7 or so years, or however many I've been in this house, which I think technically is now 8 years (Wow! Time is going fast). I say that because I think I had to learn that because I couldn't really count on my past being my current social set up. I had to create the community I needed. I had to be the one to make calls to set up play dates, sift through the dead ends, form groups and just say hello or linger to listen when a person had something to say. And while I know really this wasn't me doing it, but God's grace and the abilities he gave me to do so, but I know I still had to say yes and be open to whatever his will was for me.

There have been moments where I wasn't my finest or was completely awkward in everything I said or did, but thing is, people didn't give up on me. So maybe I am not so terrible as I tell myself. Perhaps I am a little bit likable and not maybe the pretentious know it all that I see as myself. Or maybe that is the sinful me but the me that lets grace be part of her can be pretty okay. Whatever I may be, I am thankful for this journey and I'm thankful to be here in tis place with this husband and four kids of mine if full reality that the only chaos I can control is to keep kids out of the road and perhaps keep the lego bricks away from the baby for another day.

When to slow down

Today we went apple picking. It was late in the season so the apples were scarce, but overall it was an enjoyable experience. However, my oldest went along and he really shouldn't have.  Because when he got home I checked him out as having a 102 deg F fever. The thing is, I didn't realize he was not doing well until we were almost there, and at that I just thought he had got the cold the majority of us had had last week that seemed to be lingering in parts. I was the event planner for this event for the homeschool group, so I needed to be there, at least with that late of notice. I limited what he had to do, and his brother was a super helper with helping me cart B around and being adventuresome despite circumstances. And when he got home B fell asleep for a good hour and then he actually seemed much better after resting.

So who knows what it was, but I felt bad for having him out, even though I didn't know beforehand and I probably should have just gone home. I guess perhaps I struggle at knowing where to draw the line. Fever is usually it, but he wasn't acting feverish all morning and he decided he wanted to go. He would have been allowed to stay home with his dad because he works from home now, and so it would have been okay. But he went. I guess I need to stop beating myself up about perhaps not the best decision, to stay, but also that I couldn't predict what happened. What would friend me say to me? That I didn't know, that he seemed okay in the morning before we went, that the fresh air was going to be good for us.

The rest of us enjoyed picking apples, my middle guy enjoyed it the most because he could climb the trees as high as he wanted. My middle girl enjoyed climbing as well and S enjoyed sitting amongst the orchard. Next time we go apple picking remind me to go in September as apparently that is the best time for it. It somehow seems off though because of the fall connotation to apples, but oh well. Goodnight.