To many more...

Happy 6th!

6 years revisited

Do you ever feel like when you are going thru something, while you know you are making the best decision for you, you aren't very good at explaining it to anyone else who asks?

I think this is me when it comes to Catholicism.  I love being Catholic.  I have never felt more at home in the Catholic church but I am also thankful for my protestant upbringing as my parents taught me foundational Christian values that have stuck with me even in my conversion.

I think now as I look back, is how I have battled a long time with who I was as a person, what my worth is. My dignity, in my mind, was taken away from me at a young age and I struggled to see myself as good. I fought against the good and just let the bad happen.  And you wouldn't have seen this from the outside except that I was always fighting something.  And the thing is even though I am redeemed and it has taken me a long way to see that all come together.  I still do question my worth to an extent. I still struggle with what others think of me in my choices, I know that ultimately God is my judge not man, but I feel like the culture around us eats at us and makes us think differently.

In Catholicism,  I think that for myself, I was able to find this in the theology of the body in the veneration of Mary, in the ability to be fully me and fully understood and to be challenged in things like confession to move forward in my Christian walk.  Yes, I got a lot of other answers.  Yes, a lot of things made a lot more sense, especially the communion of saints.  But I think through Jesus in the Eucharist and the relationship of Christ and his Church, this all came to fruition.

I was made in an image of greatness, I was designed to be fully woman and not what society sees as such.  I do have a place of great influence even if its not recognized and I have to take it with humility.  But I learn through the redemptive suffering.  I learn through not having it my way and I only have seen this since my journey into Catholicism.

I do thank my parents for teaching me to be generous and loving.  For teaching me to always look towards Jesus in all that I do.  I thank them for pushing me hard and not letting me have the easy way out.  I think I would not have arrived to be who I am today if it wasn't for them, and that is a good thing.

So, Catholic I am.  Follower of Christ I am. I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Three year old logic

Ben: "I'm bigger than Ephraim.
          Mama, you are bigger than me.
          And Daddy is so big, but not as big as God."


And now to prove that 3 year old logic doesn't really function on the same level as an adults.  Ben is always trying to fit himself into this pound puppy dog house.  Obviously he doesn't fit.