Pray

I don't have much to say at the moment, but I read this blog today from a SAHM about her experience about the loss of her twin sons.  It breaks my mama heart to read it, and I am sure it will yours too.  It makes me want to hug my babies a little tighter and thank God that I have full-term babies, even and over due one at that.  And so I just wanted to post this and say to pray for everyone involved here.  There are two more little saints in heaven today.

Tea and Sympathy

As I write this blog post, an old Jars of Clay song came into my head, and thus the title.  It was probably due to the fact that I would love to sit down with someone for a cup of tea and just get some sympathy.   But life at the moment is too busy to afford it, maybe next week, who knows.

This should be otherwise known as the Ephraim story part 3.  The one where we find out that he's got all these allergies.  People tell me its because he's a fair skinned baby with red-head genes.  Maybe this is true, but man he has been a lot harder than Ben from the get-go.  If the 1-2 transition wasn't hard enough add on top of it his poor sleeping habits which cause me to be an insomniac half of the time.  It's a little insane but somehow I persevere, probably because most days I'm praying to God to get me through this day with only 4 hours of sleep and because he's God he does.  But anyway.  It's mean to compare children in how one is better than the other, because they aren't, they are just different.  And Ephraim well he's just different, during the day he's an angel, but at night he's a terror.  Ben was probably the opposite, but because I got my sleep I could handle it.  But God gave me Ben when he did because I needed to have a kid like him so that I could graduate and become Dr. Mom.  It's as simple as that.

So we add kid #2 into the picture and for the first 3-4 months he sleeps wonderfully, and then it just stops.  So for the last 2-3 months he hasn't slept consistently well at all.  Well before his 6 month check-up I started introducing a few foods because well I thought maybe this kid is hungry so maybe that's why he sucks at sleeping.  It kinda worked for like 2 days, but that was it.  So I backed off on the foods, but every so often I would give him a taste of this or that.  And then the banana reaction happened.  I mashed some up and gave it to him and he immediately broke out.  And so I was like hmm, seems like he's allergic, I did my research and then at his 6-month check-up had him tested.  But also at the same time they did the full food allergy test.  And in this they backed up the banana, avocado, kiwi, latex allergy, but also found a milk allergy.

A milk allergy.  Yep.  Dairy free for me. And the thing is that apparently we use milk in a lot of things.  I have a lactose sensitivity so I already had cut out cow's milk for almond milk but to cut out cheese and yogurt and the occasional dish of ice cream.  Well the first 2 were and are hard.  I guess cheese is the really kicker, because I like cheesy things.  I like my lasagna and my sandwiches with cheese and my cheesy mexican.  And really I realized that I rely on dairy for my protein, the substitutes minus soy don't have much.  So eggs it is, right folks?  Good thing I like hard boiled eggs right?

So I guess also in this that I could have turned a different route, I could have saved myself and just put him on formula.  This in someways would be easier, I guess.  But the kid will not and has not taken a bottle, and I kind of like it this way.  It's easier on me, and oddly enough I don't feel too tied down because of it. I've actually gotten out of the house way more than I ever did with Ben, probably because I don't have a paper to write but anyway. So since the nursing itself is going well why stop a good thing?  And then the middle of the night wake-ups.  I would much rather be half awake for those than fully awake.  And then the whole getting him to take a bottle would be pure torture, since he refuses already.  He would probably be put on a soy formula and that doesn't work for me because I'm not a fan of soy and the effects it does with mimicking estrogen. So we shall continue to nurse, just dairy-free.

Well, I guess I'm not too much upset, but really its a pain in the butt to be off dairy. Then again God gave me Ephraim because he knew I would be the mama for him.  Somehow I just have to to figure out how to be a good dairy free one.  Thanks internet for being my tea and sympathy audience.  Or rather oatmeal and sympathy, since that's what I'm currently eating.

My people

I know I wrote on twitter earlier that this week was going to be a hard solo parenting week.  But that isn't entirely fair to say.  I have help on my husband's class nights which is awesome always.  Sometimes I think that God helped us to pick the best godparents for our children because they are there for them.  They help us with them when we need help.  They volunteer to babysit for us on a whim when we really need to get out.  Bring us food when we just can't get it together that night for dinner.  I appreciate them beyond words though because I know with time that my children will see their service and example in Christ and hopefully want to remain on the straight and narrow pathway to heaven.

So on top of that I have to give a shout out to awesome neighbors and friends who don't mind me showing up on their doorstep unannounced, because they have either been through the state of life I am in or are currently braving the waters too.

So I will get thru this week, because I have my people.  My people that God has graciously given me to meddle thru the craziness of two, two and under.  Because without them I would go crazy.  So, if you are one of these people that helps me, thank-you.

In the end, there will be long days, and we won't get a true weekend as the husband will have to work all of Friday and Saturday.  But we will persevere and hopefully not have too many crying fits in the process (at least not by me). So thank-you to those that will help me through and hopefully we might just pull this week off.

A post Lent recap

As I sit here hoping the baby stays asleep upstairs, I will try to do a quick reflection on lent 2012.  So this lent, I gave up social media, which was really hard.  But on top of that I added in reading a chapter of the Bible a day and we tried to pray at the local abortion clinic weekly for the 40 days for Life campaign.

So what did I learn?

First, the original reason I gave up social media was that it was a time sucker.  And this is very true for me.  So what did I do with this time?  Well I read a lot of books and called friends and tried to be more present to my kids.  But I think what I learned mostly from my giving it up is that there is a fine line between using it for connecting to people and craving the attention that people give one on it.  I can easily fall into the attention craving bit so post lent, as I return to social media I am going to work on this.  To really enjoy the conversations but keep a good balance and check to see where my thoughts are going with it.

Second, reading the Bible daily is a good thing, and a habit I want to keep up.  So I'm continuing this and am thankful for Lent to be able to get a good thing going.

Third, praying in front of an abortion clinic is hard with 2 kids 2 and under.  Either the baby was sick or it was too cold or snowing.  But our whole family did get there twice and Keith was able to go every week. The times we did go as everyone were good.  One of those was on St. Patrick's Day where the people were out in massive numbers shouting drunken insults and such.  However, despite the few insults, we had many more honks and thumbs ups.  It kind of makes one think just maybe this nation of ours is becoming more pro-life.

And that's a wrap.  How was lent for you?  I'd love to hear about your experiences.
Cheers!

In my quest to love more

It's amazing when you interact with someone for so long but you don't really know there story and then when you do finally learn it, it floors you. Because that person seems so put together and yet they had to go through so much.  Old me would have judged this person from the start, but present me is working on that.  So I took this person at face value and tried to love them despite some of their quirks that made me a little crazy-like.  And I'm glad I did, because underneath was a beautiful story of an amazing person and I am glad to have know this person.  Unfortunately, she is moving away due to her husband's job, but I pray that the move goes well and her life from her on out is a beautiful grace filled one.

Our conversions...

Reading Jennifer Fulwiler's conversion from pro-choice to pro-life (found here) just makes me want to just love people more.  It reminds me to my teenage angst days where I did thought women were treated unfairly and had to be just like a man to really get anywhere.  First of all oh how only 10 short years can change so much.  Second, I'm so glad that I no longer think this way and am really happy because of it.  I mean yes life as a woman isn't an all the time non stop party, but I think I understand a little bit more about who I am and who God made me to be than I did at 16 or 18.  I wonder if my 16 year old self would have listened though to my 28 year old self now.  Maybe I would have, but really I don't think I was ready to hear it, I had a lot of baggage to work through and 16 year me was in a totally different place than 22 year old me that really seemed to actually be able to hear and seek truth.  And since then I've loved learning more and more, understanding bit by bit with more life experience.

So now, where I am at, I just want to love people more and help them to be who God wants them to be.  I probably fail at this more than anyone, but still that is my desire. Because life is so much better on the flip side at least in my short lived experience.

Small Successes 3/1

1. We made it to two story times this week, one of them being at 10am, which means we made it out of the house before 10am, this felt like a record, though we've done it before. Its just this time we didn't do it with kicking and screaming but it flowed.  :)

2. I kept 1 out of my 2 children out of the emergency room.  The one that was in the ER, well at least he is doing better right?

3. I blogged twice this week, and so far have kept up with my Lenten plans.  I'm still trying to figure out how to incorporate more with the family but personal lent is going well.

4. I cut 20 seconds off my mile time.  It's still way slow for past me, but definitely my fastest post partum time this time around.

Exciting things are happening all around me and I wish I could share them with you but they are other folks good news and so I will share them down the road when they have officially been told to the world by the respective parties.  Oh, and guess who is turning two tomorrow?

This guy is.  Craziness.