Hallie Lord at Edel simply told us, "It is good that you are here." When I first heard this, I thought to myself, "Thank-you, I'm glad I made it." And for a while that is all I thought of it. But then almost a week after returning home the devotion I was reading returned to that same theme. And it was good that it did. Because as awesome as it was to get a break there was reality to return to and with that reality, the same issues that were left behind came to the surface again.
I struggle some days to find peace amongst the chaos of 3 under 5. Actually, I struggle with this probably more days than I'd like to admit. In reading the devotional passage the author, Amy Welborn, brought her daughter to a beach on a particularly rough day, knowing she'd find solace there. She just knew it was a good place to be. And so this is with my life. I'm here, restless most days, but God knows I need to be here. He's given me the tools to make it through. To be able to find peace in him amongst the chaos.
And it is so hard on those bad days when the almost 3yo decides its a good idea to pee in the sand box or the 4.5yo deliberately hits me in the face with one of his toys or the baby is just gonna scream all day about something. To be in that and find peace, it's so hard, and yet God knows I can do it. He knows it is good for me to be here. And so it is, I just have to find him more amongst the chaos in the love so that there can be peace.