I saw this post the other day on a group I am part of that was from the Birth Without Fear blog. I guess it was just posted to the FB page, but it brought up what happened to me with Ben. What I lived through.
The woman had been told to terminate her pregnancy or stop her master's program. Let's just say this didn't surprise me one bit. As a graduate student you are expected to put your research first and everything else is to become a far second or a third I guess. When someone does something that changes this, it is frowned upon. Being pregnant is one of these things.
And while I can't actually publish what went on with my situation. It wasn't pretty. And I won't accuse anyone of telling me to have an abortion, they didn't. But I definitely didn't have it easy. I hid the last month or so that I was researching because I couldn't take the abuse at 7-8 months pregnant. I was thankful that I was able to get outside of the situation, higher up help who did care. However, the memories still are there. I still have a really hard time setting foot anywhere close to my graduate school's campus without being tense.
I think oddly however, this is why motherhood the first time around came so easy and was so welcomed. It was something that was so pure and good compared to what I was coming from that I just felt capable. I know that isn't the usual reaction to motherhood the first time around, but for me I needed this. I needed this so much because so much wrong had happened before my son's birth. God was looking out for me, and I was extremely blessed with this welcomed transition.
Anyway, I'm not sure where I am really going with this, but I just had to get that out of my head. It's been plaguing me a bit the past few days.