Wednesday, April 22, 2009

annoyed

Why do we try to control all aspects of life? Why aren't people allowed to be the way that they were created to be, instead we have to mask things. Why is it insane to be a mom of 5, or 9. I think they are pretty cool. They have definitely learned humility in their lives. It's one thing to abstain in marriage due to grave reasons such as medical issues, extreme financial issues (not a "I can't afford a new car anymore if we have a baby"), mental health issues etc. Its another to have sex and eliminate the life giving aspect of it. It seems more and more that somehow people have it in their minds that they get to be done with God's will for their lives when it comes to children. They use any kind of barrier or potentially cancerous alteration to make sure that they don't have to sacrifice the ideal life. It's insane. I really want to be the mom with at least 5 kids that everyone looks down upon because I have too many kids. I mean I hope that they would be excited about the largish family, but it seems that when you have more than 2 kids these days, its a big family and too much to handle. I mean as of present, I'm not sure what God has in mind for the size of my family because I only have been able to make a little one that only after a few weeks in the womb went to heaven. But I have this strong desire to have a largish family whether it be natural or adopted. Honestly, adoption seems like a really great option if you want to help those that no one else wants, meaning a special needs child or a multi-racial/minority child. Both of which are awesome gifts from God because they teach us supposedly normal folks so much about life and how selfish we really are. Anyway, I am good with where I am, at least I am working on being ok with where God has placed me. But, I just don't want everyone around me to mask the beauty of what God has given them. To truly understand what a man and woman are meant to be is amazing, and how much God has written himself into us is amazing, to mask that means you miss so much of the gifts that God has given you.

about an hour after I wrote this, I read this interview. Definitely good to have someone backing me up. The Mom Squad

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