I went to a work function this evening with my husband. It was a really neat kind of function, it was in an old vault for part of it, and they restored it and made it into a bar and then there was a dinner with really good food. All and all it was a quality function and I'm glad I went.
Another reason I'm glad I went is because I've been doubting a lot lately. I've been doubting if I am really supposed to be doing what I am doing. If I am too stressed out to enjoy it and that I need to do something drastic to make it better. But today I conversed with people who confirmed that taking care of children is the hardest thing ever. Generally to be a parent is the hardest thing ever.
We had a day on Monday, one of those days were you don't want to relive it because your life has flashed before you in thinking that you have lost one your children and you just can't do this anymore. But the thing is Tuesday came, and it was better. I can't say it was much better, but it was better. And then Wednesday and Thursday came and those were much better too.
And so when I answer the questions of what do I do. Why I homeschool. Why I we took a crazy adventure to do the impossible. I think its simply because God meets me there every time. Sometimes I recognize him and his grace and other times I don't. But he is always there.
I think its easy to get caught up in the grass is always greener mentality, at least it is for me. In doing so I can be paralyzed to live with joy too. If I think that something out there is better for me, then by golly I'm going to hate what I'm doing currently. But it shouldn't. While I should be striving to improve and be fully who God intended me to be, I also need to enjoy where I am at and let go of where I think I need to be or what I think I need to have, those preconceived expectations creeping in and killing my view of God's grace.
So the thing is, why not try that hard thing, that thing that really stretches you to love, to unite yourself with Jesus. It might be fun, it might be hard, it might be crazy. But if we don't ever step onto the playing field we can never win the game or even fight the good fight. And so this parenting gig, homeschooling and all, being open to life, well its hard, there is no way around it. But hard doesn't mean not good, in fact something that is hard can be the most amazing thing ever, so why not just go for it.