I thought about this a few days back, though, I was busy with presentations and tests so I never had a chance to sit down and write. Hopefully, what I thought about then all comes back to me now.
First of all, my thoughts went first back to the film about home birth. It still fascinates me and I am determined to have a home birth now for many reasons, as long as I don't have any medical complications, which 80% of births do not.
But then I thought about motherhood, I thought about how I so badly want to be a mother, but society in subconscious and some conscience ways doesn't want me to be. They say that in order to have worth you need a career outside of the home, something that gives you fulfillment. Why isn't being a mom fulfilling enough. I guess when it comes without really understanding that we are made for each other, to have real intimate relationships with each other, and this is who we really are. (and I mean intimate in a way unlike the normal connotation, but maybe what one would say is a deep meaningful relationship) If we don't understand what we were made for then, we look for fulfillment elsewhere, and sometimes you do need to have a career to survive. This is the way that I look at work, something that I have to do to survive. Because for me it is evident that I thrive off relationships with others. I am gettting a PhD in physical computational applied theoretical electrochemistry, and you know what I am not going to be that. I am going to use my degree so that I can be the best mother that I can be. I will use all the skills and the knowledge that I have gained to rear or raise my children. I have many other passions and interests that amount to more knowledge than this and I will be able to use these in my motherhood. And some would be like well you can't teach a child electrochemistry when they are 2. Well maybe you can't at least not at the level that I know it, but that is a sacrifice to raise little lights of Christ that I am willing to take.
I think in someways, the way that motherhood is downplayed makes it all the more significant, because we will be looked at as uneducated in the western world's standards of intelligence for a woman. We will be thought of as women who are retreating away from what women's liberation has done for us. I mean honestly, if women's liberation has only done things that have made men and women be identical instead of being equal but separate. I don't want any part of it. I don't want to have to suppress what God has built me with to function as a man in society, instead of the woman that I am. I am going to be a mom, because through being a mom I am fulfilled in God's design of who I am. I will have the hardest "career", as I will be responsible for the fragility of tiny person and for the development of them into adulthood in many aspects. I will have to see that they grow into lights of Christ, never ceasing to what to serve their God and to seek to understand the world around them.
And lastly, I bring up Mary. This woman and I have had our issues as I became Catholic last year, mainly because as Protestants say she comes out at Christmas and that is it. But I have begun to understand her as more. Being the Mother of God, she has such a huge role in Christianity, that we really cannot deny or suppress. Why? Because she is an example of how all women can serve Christ. She was at his right hand, seeing him through all things, giving support, really just sacarficing her life for him. She had no idea what his life was to become, but she accepted the challenge, as a mother, a care-giver. She was so humble and not proud and really just pointed in her actions towards her son. and this is how we can understand motherhood through her example.