Thursday, July 30, 2009


This may be a short rant, I apologize in advance for that. I am constantly reminded why a certain person never knows any of my personal business, because as soon as she does, she makes a nuisance out of herself, by either one-upping me, bragging about her way of doing something or being completely unresponsive/showing a lack of compassion. I am sure she doesn't really mean to react this way to things, but seriously it drives me insane sometimes. I really don't think she ever gives hugs unless you initiate them, and I don't think she would ever give you one even if you really looked down. Why can't she have a normal person's response? Oh wait that would make her not her and actually human. Instead she is what she is, someone who constantly tests my nerves but for some reason likes my company. Why? The other two are just fine to deal with, a little cooky but still decent folks. Any idea on how to deal with her civilly without killing her when I visit in two weeks? I usually manage but really if you have any extra advice let me know.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Seven quick takes Friday

1. Though there is soccer to play today at lunch, I really don't want to play because I am quite tired.

2. Today is a major breakout day, and for that I feel ugly and want to avoid human contact at all cost.

3. Keith plays softball tonight, granted it doesn't rain, which is kinda the way its looking today.

4. I really want someone to buy our house so we can move already.

5. Since my appetite is limited these days, I am unfortunately eating meat today. But I now do not like bread, or eggs, so this is what I am left with.

6. I am excited for Catholic Heart Workcamp starting on Sunday. It should be a good week.

7. I am really getting into the Joshua Tree by U2 lately, or at least whats been playing of it on my Pandora station.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

putting the why behind the don't

So growing up, the mentality from adults seemed to be to tell kids don't do it, but never to give realistic consequences, or only to give scare tactics.

Or in other situations, when you had to do something, there was never a good reason why you had to do it, you just had to.

Maybe this worked for some kids, but for the most, and myself included, it led to pushing the boundaries.

So why do parents or guardians or adults in authority say these things without reasonable explanation?

1.) That's the way their parents or teachers etc did and and despite wanting to be different they practice the same technique here.

2.) The adult already has their own problems to deal with and doesn't want to get into the why at the moment, or the why makes them uncomfortable because they themselves have never really thought about why they do something.

3.) Playing off the last one, they don't know the why behind the not or the must of doing something.

I think that there are probably more reasons, and maybe less critical reasons behind the lack of explanation, but these are what I came up with.

Now as for giving an explanation why, sometimes scare tactics are involved, especially with sex. There is always the pregnancy or STD factor that is brought up. But I am pretty sure there is no real explanation as to why it is better to have sex with only your spouse, and how sex is a reflection of God's love. Instead at least in my youth experience, sex was bad, dirty, and only the kids without morals had it. No explanation as to the why behind not engaging in it was good. Nothing about how waiting will actually give you time to figure out who you are, and what you want without having added more complication. And to actually have security in your relationship etc.

anyway, without going into more detail, I want to be the parent who can give the why behind something and have it be loving and truthful. I'll have to let you know further down the road if this idea actually gets put into practice well or not.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


1. With our house on the market, we started looking at houses in Cleveland. I am falling in love with a few of them. Makes me want to garden and have children more.

2. Going to Catholic Heart Work Camp, though for myself, my position I am now signed up for feels more like a cop out position since it is no longer on a work site hammering and painting. Oh well, sometimes circumstances dictate choices.

3. My friend Meghan is going to Israel finally! I am very proud of her for making this move and taking the plunge to go and stop being scared of the consequences. I look forward to many skype chats with her.

4. I was able to reunite with a friend I haven't talked to in over a year. Turns out she just had a wee one about a month ago. Which is the coolest. Welcome baby Sofi to the world!

5. I am getting more excited about the potential in life these days, so many things seem to be gelling at the moment, and thats pretty cool. Prayer works, and God listens.

Friday, July 10, 2009

a few resources that I have found today that I like

First Modesty at Mass article: honestly I am more guilty of judging those that are immodest that just trying to be a good example. So maybe I should just work on this. But this gives good reason to be modest.
Inside Catholic: Mass Modesty

The Cross of Infertility Podcast: as my non-existent readership knows, I have had a a bit of a struggle with this. This hit home at many points, and is very informative to know what to do with those around you that do struggle with infertility.
The Cross of Infertility

Ingenuity Festival Cleveland: This is going on this weekend in downtown Cleveland. It mixes technology with art, they make music with science and art out of engineering. Honestly, it's the nerd in me that makes me like this festival. But if you are in the area and are free, you should check it out.
Ingenuity Fest 2009

Thursday, July 9, 2009

maybe I'm not what the world considers to be a feminist

because this article in many points bugs me.

Interview with Justice Ginsburg

Maybe its the fact that there in complete subjectivity instead of objectivity in her approach to law and to the new woman Judge that was appointed.

And maybe, just maybe its the eugenics talked about on the last page of the article.

I think I would rather be an anti-feminist in the world's sense and like having babies and being a mother and have judicial decisions not be feelings oriented, then be the other way around.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

avoiding blogging

I kinda have been avoiding full blogging lately. I think partially because I need to put my emotions on hold for a little while and watch it pan out. However, I can give an update.

1.)Yesterday we put our house on the market to sell. We are hoping to move into the central and southern part of the city of Cleveland, instead of being on the county line in the suburbs, too far from anything that we participate in. So hoping to sell quickly and be able to move by October at the latest. Prayers appreciated concerning this.

2.)I have been enjoying walks lately, it helps keep my head on straight and gives me a break from the constant feel of things needing to be done. So I recommend a walk around the block to recharge batteries, it really works.

3.) In about a week and a half, we will be headed to Catholic Heart Workcamp which for us means going down the road 2 hours to Pittsburgh. Should be fun, and I am looking forward to getting out of my normal routine to help someone else out. It should be nice.

4.)My husband and I went to my parent's house for the 4th, it was a decent weekend, only filled with a slight bit of resentment and anger. Ultimately I realized that my judgement of others is something I kinda need to be cautious of and work on, so I am gonna try not to judge so much, but try to see the good in the person, and forgive the faults, because most of the time a person doesn't even know they are in any fault and pointing it out just makes one feel bad. Though the arguement does kinda leave me angry with one of my family members, I guess that I will have just get over that too.

5.)I dunno what else there is to update on, check back in a few weeks for another update, hopefully I will blog in the meantime though.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

need to learn humility

Sorry for the times that I have had a holier than thou attitude. Sorry I don't like the beach. Sorry I have yet been able to fully grasp the way to connect being good with humility. Sorry for being judgemental when I need to love. These are things that I really need to work on. I'll keep praying for learning in these things, and actually try to learn them. They are kind of engrained, so its probably gonna be a huge work of grace and time and struggle. that's all. goodbye.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

But what is love?

Cool Hand Luke -This is Love

"Is this love
or something to think of?

We fool ourselves for comfort,
we're swayed by every wind.
And if this isn't true love,
then we can just pretend.
But what is love?

This is love
that you would die for me.

Is this real,
or something to feel?

Confused by our emotions,
confused by what we see.
We trade in our patience,
for false security.
But is this love?

This is love,
that you would die for me.

When I'm falling down,
you save me.

This is how I know
what love is. (9x)
And I'd die for this."

quick note

The 4th of July might be extra good this year. Just saying. and keep praying. To my non-existent readership, you guys are awesome.