Friday, May 30, 2008


Since Keith's plane is delayed 30 minutes, I am gonna post here. First of all, I was not happy to be back. Because I know more and more that what I am doing presently is not what I feel called to do for the rest of my life. I am trying to discern that still. Many times on vacation, I was asked what do you do, what do you want to do with your degree. I have come up with the answer that I want to teach, though I am not sure that they understand that it probably won't be chemistry unless I have to. I would much rather help people with other things than teach chemistry. I did a spiritual gift test, and it was kinda funny, because you can see how things are gonna turn out like half way through. I knew I was gonna get the missionary gift. I have been told before that I have a missionary spirit. I think that is true. I love helping people that need me and that are not like me. I love helping others to understand God better and to just help with them with everyday things. Sometimes I think maybe i get in the way, but hopefully not too much. The other thing I got is Faith, which means trusting in God for everything. I hope this is true, but sometimes I let my selfishness get in the way. I can be quite a brat sometimes. And a little impatient. I kinda think that I want to work with women teaching them something sciency. There was an article in the Heifer Int. magazine, and it talked about a huge need for women to be involved in the development of clean water systems in developing countries. This would be a cool thing to do. Because this would unite two passions redeeming true womanhood and helping others in an environmental way. I think it would be cool. Anyway, that is all. I can't think too well right now due to lack of good sleep.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

educated =liberal ? I don't think so

Click on the title to read the article referenced in this post.

The author of this article seems to think that in order to be educated, one be a liberal. I beg to differ. If one was truly educated on truth, then they wouldn't be liberal at all. They would understand true tolerance, as described in a previous post.

Also even if you are uneducated, that doesn't mean you are a racist, as the author seems to imply as well. Yeah, so why are the bible belters voting for the democrats anyway? Oh right, I forgot that whole abortion issue isn't a big deal to them anymore. Hmm, the dignity of each human from conceptionforgotten (at least everywhere else but Colorado, go them for proposing a well supported ammendment!). Well, I will continue to pray.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

honestly, I need to be me

So I have decided that I have become way too obsessed with the fact that people don't like the changes I have made in my life. Well too bad, get over it. I like being me, and I am happy being me. And enough is enough.
Today my arm hurts alot. Probably because I decided to vacuum and lift many heavy objects dig a few holes. and then carry a suitcase a good half mile or so. Fun stuff. I guess that I haven't explained why my arm should hurt abnormally. You see I managed to break my arm in the fall due to not knowing the proper way of falling. My husband is however, great at falling, so he dives all the time without a scratch. Anyway, since breaking my elbow in the fall, I have now in the spring discovered that my arm once again is acting up. So I went to see a doctor, they were like yeah you have a piece of your bone in your elbow joint that is causing you pain. So eventually when the insurance decides that it ok I will get an MRI and then probably have some sort of surgery to get the fragment out. So maybe, just maybe I can have a non-hurt arm again. In the mean time, I will try to attempt doing things as a lefty when it comes to the heavy lifting and the vacuuming and even trying to start the lawn mower, which I totally cannot do anymore, grr.

Anyway, I had a good conversation with a friend last night about the line between helping and hurting someone by calling them out on something. This is a very hard line to stay on the helping side. At least for me because I observe things a lot. I observe people and read about the habits of people, so sometimes I want to be like can't you just learn to do this. Why can't you see that this is harming you. It becomes a crazy mess. Sometimes by pointing out the behavior in the way I do, I actually enable it. Other times, I just lecture the person till they feel bad about their behavior, but they don't know how to fix it, or to please me. But that totally misses the point. The point is that Jesus charges me to help people. And sometimes my human ways just hurt. Because most of the time the person needs to figure it out their self, because their own conscience needs to be convicted. They need to see the harm or the destruction. The pain that comes of it. If they don't see it they aren't gonna change. They are gonna think well thats nice and keep doing the same thing. I think really I have learned that most of the time, and I'm still learning this, that people just want you to listen to them. Only give advice when they ask for it. I have the tendency to have the know-it-all personality, so I want to put my two cents in constantly. Its a struggle to sit back and listen. But God wants me to do that and to be there for people when they need it.

My friend said for her she wants people to do as she would in a situation or with a certain issue. We concluded this was natural, and at times only due to what our preferences in life are. We forget that Jesus loved everybody. So it is a daily struggle to help and not harm. I mean I did it today. I sometimes think it crazy that my advisor's wife lives a good 15 hours away. But my co-worker reminded me that not everyone needs to have people surrounding them like I do. It made me think of those people that have to deal with their spouse being away due to military duty. I don't think I could do it, I mean maybe I could with God's help, but I think I would have to find a good group of friends to have companionship around me.

Anyway, I am glad that I am choosing to do youth ministry. I think it will help me to not judge, but to help, and sometimes to just listen. :)

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Absolutely Brilliant!!! I kinda wish this was told to me when I was younger.